I’ve been diving seriously into “doing good” and “be a good person” for a couple of year now, I think this is a… lifestyle and a way to behave that works for me. I would love to share some of those ideas and beliefs with you, I’ve been trying to define what does it means (for me) to do good and to be good, and debunking some myths and misconceptions about philanthropy and altruism because they are available for everyone (is not a hobby just available for Bill Gates and attendees to the Met Gala) and everyone can benefit from this.
Today’s picture is a cat inside a luggage because we are moving soon and the cat is very tempted to come with us, apparently. We are going to miss the fluff and niceness of the furry flatmate.
This is the first of several texts I’m planning to share with you related to altruism and philanthropy or as you may be call it currently “just be a good person”.
This idea of being a good person have been part of my entire life, I was lucky enough to grow in a very loving and supportive environment, with parents that were worried about raising a decent human being and that encourage me to being a better person in all the senses, to them a huge "thank you, I love you both, keep rocking and making the world a great place".
So, what does it mean to be a good person?
I don’t have a definite answer, I don’t think I will ever have a definite one, I know it is complex but I’ve been trying to pay attention to the good people around me to try to answer this and “create a profile” to explain it, my first idea is that in order to be a good person you should be consistently⁰ behaving with some minimum parameters such as:
- Not to hurt anyone in your path
- Be kind and respectful
- Help whenever you can (this includes, whenever you can manage it emotionally)
- Be open to listen to other people needs instead of assume you know them better
- Be kind x2
- Be open to learn and accept you don't have the right answers most of the time
- Be generous and giving whenever you can, with your time, your knowledge, your intentions, your money, your privileges, your position, your bubble, your good vibes, prayers or whatever fits best for you
- Be kind x3
This may sound similar to some other suggested parameters (10 to be precise) to follow in order to achieve an eternal and happy afterlife, but I’m not involving religious beliefs here, this is a pure moral, philosophical and etymological discussion, but I’m more than happy to hear and learn from your experience as a religious, altruistic and philanthropic human being.
Now that you have a rough idea of what I mean to be a good person, let’s define those famous terms that guide my general way of living and I’ve been mentioning for so long and from the very beginning of this blog
Altruism:
- Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness. The opposite of egoism.ⁱ
- The principle and moral practice of concern for happiness of other human beings or animals, resulting in a quality of life both material and spiritual.²
- Willingness to do things that bring advantages to others, even if it results in disadvantage for yourself ³
tl;dr: not being selfish and care about other humans and animals ***
Philanthropy:
- Love of humankind in general.⁴
- Goodwill to fellow members of the human race especially: active effort to promote human welfare⁵
- Altruistic concern for human welfare and advancement, usually manifested by donations of money, property, or work to needy persons, by endowment of institutions of learning and hospitals, and by generosity to other socially useful purposes.⁶
- Charity aims to relieve the pain of a particular social problem, whereas philanthropy attempts to address the root cause of the problem⁷
tl;dr: you care about humankind in general and your acts come mostly from love ***
All this definitions could sound somehow idilic, away from your reality, too romantic to be real or with no relevance or impact in your life, but they are everywhere, all the time around you and they bring me to an initial important reflection about this two concepts: The root of this ideas is as a person you 1. are an active part of a society (because feeling love in isolation and not acting on it doesn’t work for being a philanthropist) and 2. you are constantly attempting to make it better and trying to improve others lives around you and those not so close to you. How can you do this is another story that I will also share with you later.
Philanthropy is not only for the rich people who are making a significant impact because they have some resources to do it, is a concept and everyone who cares and love the humankind and behave regularly under this idea is a philanthropist. When you act accordingly with the concept and the roots behind, you are a philanthropist, you don’t need to donate large sums of money to NGO’s, be a full-time volunteer in a remote area in the world or create your own organisation to join the lifestyle and be part of the change.
How does a philanthropist look like then?
It may look as the neighbour who pick your son from school when you can’t do it, or the stranger who holds the door for you, or the pedestrian who help elders to cross a busy street, or someone who stop and help you picking something you dropped while walking, or someone who’s helping the neighborhood kids with their homework after school, or the stranger that paid something for you when you noticed you forgot your wallet of you didn’t have enough cash, it looks like the pedestrian who stoped to pick up the litter or the neighbor who provide freshly made coffee for the entire community gathered after a mild earthquake. They look as everyday people trying to make the world a nicer place to live, they live under the idea of “today is for you, tomorrow is for me” because we are all on this together, and we can’t be okay until everyone is okay.
Finally, I want to follow the statement “we can’t be okay until everyone is okay” with another reflection about changes and the change I want to be part of. For me it feels natural to be kind and empathetic to the world, is my way of doing things but it doesn’t mean I will accept the world as it is and live with it, as I see it is the opposite, the fact that I’m empathetic with the world makes me want to change it, radically, as fast as possible, from the roots, until everyone is touched by the change because that’s the change that will last and that’s the one I’m pursuing.
I’m passionate about the idea of a better world, of doing my part in the process and this idea may sound radical (and that sound scary and we still have lots of debates with M. about the use of the word while talking about behaviours, specially), but I already accept the idea of embracing all my privileges and make the most of it to change the world and the lives of those without my privileges and I’m completely sure that I want it and I will keep behaving accordingly and I’m trying to make sure that my privileges are not blurring my empathy. And, since I want to do it right because it is a passion, it also mean that I’m open to learn and listen, and question my beliefs, and correct my misconceptions, and learn from my mistakes, and keep improving my means and ways, and learn when to stop speaking and start acting, where to stop acting and leaving the space for more suitable persons to act, where to keep pushing and where to stop wasting my energy, all this is a very long and exhausting process that I’m sure will last for the rest of my life, but I want it, and it is an active and happy choice I’ve been making and I will continue making.
I hope this ideas can leave a tiny seed in your life and hopefully they will bloom into helping you being part of the change and become an active, conscious and constant philanthropist because you have to keep doing good in order to continue being a philanthropist, is a long term commitment because every single kindness and selfless act counts towards the big and complex change we need. Keep sharing your meals, keep worrying about other people, keep sharing your knowledge, keep giving a sh*t about other people’s stories, keep listening and understanding, keep learning and keep having conversations, keep this ideas moving and please, if you have any ideas about this concept of “everyone can be a philanthropist” I would love to hear from you, from your experiences, how are you being a philanthropist today? who’s a philanthropist around you? let them know you appreciate their efforts and I hope to see you soon in my inbox with all or at least some of your thoughts and questions about this topic.
See you next time
Annie.
PS: I wanted to share another very short quote from a conversation I had with a friend about people who don’t help even if a situation is happening right in front of them: “I try to see them as people who have not realized yet how much they can do and they just need to discover that they can actually help in a lot of cases and not as bad people who are shit and don’t give a crap, I want to give them a chance before labelling or judging them.”
⁰Update Sept 6: I understand that the idea of behaving consistently with certain parameters is a lot to ask to someone, I know it sounds intimidating and quite uncomfortable and many times it is, sometimes it is easier not to be so good to everyone and that is also fine, my point in talking about being consistent is to keep these ideas in mind and try to follow them as much as possible, without being extreme because there is no real change that will last if it comes from pressure and generates enough moelsties to just stop doing it because you are better that way. One behavior at a time, as always.
Sources: ⁱ https://www.wordnik.com/words/altruism ² https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Altruism ³ https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/altruism ⁴https://www.thefreedictionary.com/philanthropy ⁵https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/philanthropy ⁶https://www.dictionary.com/browse/philanthropy ⁷https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philanthropy
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